This only brings to mind one thing. And I’ve already detailed the circumstances.
Even though it was my own ability doing the ‘strapping’ it still caused a rift in my head – a place where fear dwells. Between this and my mother abandoning me I suffer from PSTD. And I already had a case of OCPD which only got worse the more I tried to deal with PSTD without being honest with Margo.
Around the age of 8 I started listening to her. I conquered my fear of heights to a degree I can ride an elevator without freaking out. It’s not comfortable and I still have panic attacks but I can do it. It won’t kill me. This lead me to be more honest with her than I had the past two years.
I didn’t tell her about the abuse then. I honestly haven’t told her yet either. I’m 29 and I’ve not told my therapist I was abused at the age of 5. She knows something happened but what I’ve kept her in the dark.
Maybe the next time I go home I’ll tell her. God knows when that will be though.